Breaking and entering

Jeff Gothelf — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:10:04 +0000

For a lot of Glen Rock residents there was never any doubt about where they were going to raise their own families. For others though, Glen Rock is not where they grew up. Spouse job relocation, familial ties, proximity to New York city are but a few examples of the situations that draw new residents here. Once here, though, the challenge becomes engaging with the community, establishing yourself as a resident, creating your identity and ultimately acquiring new friends.

Children have no problem making friends almost instantly (teenagers are a slightly different story) – it’s actually quite amazing. Adults, however, have a harder time. After all, this isn’t high school or college anymore and, while parents may run into each other here and there, we certainly have no obligation to hang out together. The toughest part for Glen Rock transplants is making a connection with a clique of parents who have known each other since childhood. The folks have shared history and very clear ideas about who their friends are and what they bring to the friendship.

So how do you break in? How long does it take?

Parents see each other at the drop off/pick up lines at school, birthday paries, the train station, the store, the gym etc and at some point have to take that awkward step, introduce themselves, see if there’s any chemistry and decide if there will be any future contact.

The easiest way to break in is the play date. You bring a kid. They bring a kid. Let the hang out begin. The kids provide a source for conversation as well as distraction if the hang out isn’t going well. Another effective way is to volunteer for a school or local activity. Making yourself the point of contact for a school event instantly gets your name out there and provides valuable interactions with the other parents. These are precious networking opportunities that should be exploited.

A very unscientific poll conducted by this blog recently revealed that it takes between 2 and 3 years to truly get established locally. The first two years are spent familiarizing with the town and its offerings. The 3rd year, you become a fixture on the scene and the conversations begin to flow much more readily. In many ways, 3 years is a long time to wait. More than 2 years of alone time is not exactly fun but in the end it sems to be worth it. Obviously certain personalities thrive on introducing and meeting strangers. These folks seem to be the exception rather than the rule.

So how do you do it? How do you break into the social circles in Glen Rock so as not to talk about kids and diapers and poop all day? Tell us in the comments.

Glen Rock Parent » cliques

Breaking and entering